so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize