At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
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our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
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Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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