I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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