i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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