i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
