Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
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