If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
