It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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