chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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