Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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