why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
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the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
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I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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