i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
