I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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