I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
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If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
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