walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
