The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
