M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
