Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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