Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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