I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize