He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
