Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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