He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
