I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
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