You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
