bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
