there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
