I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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