If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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