I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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