??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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