Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
