Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
