My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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