just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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