what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
