If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
