omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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