I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
