Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
