***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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