everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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