I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
