ya dads aren't the best wingmen
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
