so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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