That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
