I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
