You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
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I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
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Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I want to fling myself into the sun
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize