whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
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He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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