just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize