I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Barsexuality is the new black.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
We need to get me chipped asap
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
