I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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