Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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