somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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