you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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