I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
