I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
