Soap is not a condiment
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
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