She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
