If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
