I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize