And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I have feelings that need drinking.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
