I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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