Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
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I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
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My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
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