I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Randomize
