Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
