Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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