Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
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he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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