Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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